During the School Holidays, I am forced to spend time with my own Munchkins...rather than other people's kids! It is during this time that I learn all kinds of different things that I had never known or realised before...like the fact that (and please don't judge me for this!) I could never be a Stay-At-Home Mum, and that day-time television is simply appalling! I must, however, admit to watching the odd episode of Jeremy Kyle! There is a slightly morbid satisfaction in realising that there are people out there whose lives are far more complicated that ours! Anyway, here I go with my Top Five School Holiday revelations. 1. Youtube Kids This has been a revelation on two completely different levels. Having older Munchkins, I have simply relied on the filters to ensure that the content that they watch is suitable. However, these do not always work...as I have discovered with the Peppa Pig-obsessed two year old. Endless hours of listening to the Peppa Pig theme tu...

  How the Social Worker would like you to see them! Before you think that this is going to be rant about ALL Social Workers, it is most categorically not. There has been plenty of bad press about Social Workers, probably due to the nature of the job that they do, and yes, there are bad Social Workers out there (in the same way that there are bad teachers, bad mechanics and bad drivers!) but there are also good Social Workers! In fact, I have several friends who are Social Workers and fully appreciate how difficult their jobs can be, both professionally and personally. There is the fact that they are dealing with people's lives, particularly children's lives (and, undoubtedly, some horrific situations), the endless mounds of paperwork, difficult clients, and there is also the constant travelling from one visit or meeting to another. Our involvement came after the Evil Queen coerced the boy Step-Munchkin into making false allegations to the Police about his father...

So, yesterday the not-quite-yet-ex-husband informed me that he was planning on selling the house that we had brought together, returned to together after we became man and wife, and the home that we had brought our three children home from the hospital to. It had been valued, he had found a buyer and agreed a sale price. Now, I should probably be mad at the fact that he had not consulted me about any of this (and, in the past, I probably would have been) but, to be honest, I'm not quite sure how I feel at the moment. On one hand, it is a step nearer to closure on our relationship but, on the other hand, I guess I feel at little bit sad that the home our children grew up in will no longer be their home with their father. They adjusted pretty well to their mother living in a different place, which also became their home, probably because they still had the additional security of the home that that they had grown up in. Now, that is going but neither of us ar...

So, you haven't seen your children for months, apart from a couple of hours at the weekend in which the Evil Queen has insisted that you are supervised (or spied on!) by either herself or members of her family (for reasons which cannot be justified, other than the fact that she is perpetuating the myth (to anyone who will listen) that you are The Wicked Father ), and the day of the first Court hearing is fast approaching. What are you expecting? You spend hours responding to various emails from her Evil Minion (her solicitor) approving the Court bundle and reading her position statement and C1A forms which continue to perpetuate the myth that you are The Wicked Father.  Unfortunately, in the eyes of the law (and you are guilty until proved innocent) she is entitled to her opinions and you cannot contest these until you actually arrive in Court. Your fear is already building. The day of the hearing arrives, and you are terrified as you are rep...

The picture above represents perfectly how the Evil Queen would like to see me! However, for those people who are familiar with the musical 'Wicked' (a particular favourite of my twins, who have matching Golinda and Elphaba necklaces! This is for when they actually like each other!), you will know that the Wicked Witch of the West wasn't that bad! Neither am I really that wicked! Now, as much as they might drive me crazy at times, I love the Step-Munchkins. They are seven and four years old, and have already been through the emotional distress of seeing their father leave their mother (and, in effect, them) for me. They have also had the emotional upheaval of gaining a half-sister, courtesy of me and their father.  This was not planned, I might add, as the Step-Munchkins were conceived through IVF as were my twins as, apparently, both the Wicked Step-Mother and Prince Charming are infertile! Please don't think that I don't feel guilty about this because I do. T...

Five Things I Wish I Had Never Started! (Apart from this Blog!)   Last night, for the first time since Father's Day, I put my youngest daughter to bed and read her favourite story to her. Usually she goes straight off to sleep, but last night she refused point-blank to go off. The reason for this is that, for Father's Day, I bought Prince Charming a personalised book from her that they could read together and this has become THEIR ritual. There was no way that she was going to go to sleep until DADDY had read to her! I must admit that there was a pang of jealousy as they laughed and giggled together, and she fell asleep without a murmur, followed by abject panic when I realised that I was never going to be able to get her to sleep on my own again!   This got me thinking about things that I've done that I wish I had never started. So here are my Top Five!   1. The Bear!   Bear! Bear is the youngest c...

I presume you are all familiar with the story of Pinocchio - the wooden puppet whose nose grew longer every time he lied. Eventually, with the help of his conscience, Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio learns to be a good boy and tell the truth, finally achieving his goal of becoming a real boy. Unfortunately, in the case of boys and girls who are being alienated from their fathers by the Evil Queens, this happy ending isn't always these case. These children are often forced to lie so often that eventually the line between lies and reality becomes blurred - they end up believing that what they are being told to say is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. This is highly concerning as childhood is the time when we learn our morals and values, how to follow the rules of society and, most importantly how to treat other human beings. We have all told lies at some points in our life whether as children ("No, I didn't eat that last piece of cake in the fridge...I ...

Well, you finally have seemed decent (albeit interim Court-ordered) contact with your children...but there is a downside...you now have to feed them, clothe them and, most importantly, entertain them! How on earth are you going to afford that, as most of your income goes straight to the Evil Queen?! (See my previous post on Spousal Maintenance ). There are times in our house (with six kids and two adults) when it almost feels like we are living like Hansel and Gretel, and the option of abandoning them in the Woods becomes an increasingly positive proposition. However, the little buggers would probably just use the GPS on their mobile phones to find their way home! So, while the Munchkins are munching on their homemade pizza (made with Yellow Sticker mozzarella and accompanied by Yellow Sticker garlic bread), you trawl through the internet looking for inspiration for cheap (or even better, free!) days out. For those of you who live in other countries (or are just unfamiliar ...

  Unless you are Rumpelstiltskin, and you can spin straw into gold, the chances are that after attempting (and failing at) mediation with the Evil Queen (see my previous post Mediating with the Maniacal Queen)  your pockets will already look something like this: However, things are about to get worse! The cost of making an application to the Family Court, just to have contact with your own children, now stands at an eye-watering £255. But there is no other option; everything else you have tried has failed miserably, and your children are probably beginning to forget what you look like right now. Searching the web for legal advice, you will come across hundreds of different law firms promising free 30 minute advice sessions. 30 MINUTES?! What on earth can you do in 30 MINUTES? Well, according to Cosmopolitan magazine, I can get a completely flat stomach in 30 minutes...however, after giving birth to four children (including a set of twins), and ...